God, this is so beautiful. It's exactly what I wanted to read after seeing Everybody Loves a Clown, you capture Sam so perfectly, his frustration and his fear were so vivid it was almost painful to read.

Not everyone has a car they can rebuild from scratch when they're grieving. Dean has his car and he can take all his pain and anger and whatever else he has and focus it on fixing it. Sam has five channels and a pair of pliers to flip between them. This is especially gorgeous, and the image of Sam on a ratty couch watching television is so visceral and sad.