Smiling to himself, Barty took off his traveling cloak silently and held it out in his right hand. Winky's bulging eyes moved frantically between Barty and the cloak.
Perfect, absolutely perfect. It's such a casual thing to do, and a moment later, the reader backtracks and understands.
Over the murmur of the guests Narcissa could hear the words "Cornwall" and "cocksucker" and "engaged." "Oh, my," Narcissa said. "This is not good." "What?" Barty asked suddenly, raising his head.
Awesome exchange! :D
It's wonderful how it all comes full circle in the end. The switching from one point of view to the next left me slightly disorientated, but a paragraph into the new section, I was always pulled back in, and these little disjoinders really made your story-telling all the better. It was also fascinating to see Bella for once not recruiting Sirius, but rather keeping him away from all that; her talking sense into Lucius, and not the other way around.
In Winky's section, you added all these lovely details, including her thoughts, which made for such nice surprises. Wonderful work!
Hee, and unlike last year, I have absolutely no idea who's behind this. :D
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Smiling to himself, Barty took off his traveling cloak silently and held it out in his right hand. Winky's bulging eyes moved frantically between Barty and the cloak.
Perfect, absolutely perfect. It's such a casual thing to do, and a moment later, the reader backtracks and understands.
Over the murmur of the guests Narcissa could hear the words "Cornwall" and "cocksucker" and "engaged."
"Oh, my," Narcissa said. "This is not good."
"What?" Barty asked suddenly, raising his head.
Awesome exchange! :D
It's wonderful how it all comes full circle in the end. The switching from one point of view to the next left me slightly disorientated, but a paragraph into the new section, I was always pulled back in, and these little disjoinders really made your story-telling all the better. It was also fascinating to see Bella for once not recruiting Sirius, but rather keeping him away from all that; her talking sense into Lucius, and not the other way around.
In Winky's section, you added all these lovely details, including her thoughts, which made for such nice surprises. Wonderful work!
Hee, and unlike last year, I have absolutely no idea who's behind this. :D