Great job! I love how you wove in a kind of dreamy, fairytale feeling through the flashbacks and Sam’s meeting with the water spirit. And you nicely captured the boys’ bond through both touch and words.
Favorite lines:
Sam goes back, and he sits by Dean, curls his fingers around Dean's, the way Dean would never, ever allow him to if he were awake.
Oh, boys.
Apparently I'm supposed to talk to you, so first I'm gonna tell you how fucking annoying it is every time you throw yourself in the way of something to save me. It'll probably take longer than I've got; it's not like it's a one off, you know? We'll start with that time when I was six?"
*g* I love Sam’s speech here. I firmly believe Dean’s thrown himself in harm’s way many, many times. Protective, big-brother complex to the max.
and when the squeal of tyres subsided, Dean didn't move, even when Sam cried and tugged his sleeve--please, Dean, please. You gotta.
Poor Sammy! *hugs him*
When Dean did eventually wake up, Sam couldn't stop babbling--I'm sorry, and I don't really want a puppy as much as I want you
This makes me ache for Sam.
When the car pulled up beside him, Sam nearly didn't get in at all, knew he might stay if Dean asked him to, hoped a little that Dean would ask him to, admit he wanted something, even if Sam shouldn't have to give him it.
I like this a lot, how Sam’s feelings are kind of conflicted. It feels right.
"What you want, Sammy, that's right. It's always about what you want, you selfish little prick."
Ouch. The boys sure know how to hurt each other.
Sam felt each of Dean's words like bullets
Great analogy.
"You're just as bad as he is, and you know what? You don't have to be. You have a choice, a chance to get out and have your own life, and maybe you're too stupid to take it, I don't know, but I'm not."
Ow, ow, ow.
"Shut up. Dad'll come around soon enough--"
"He won't. And even if he does, I won't."
Wonderfully hurty dialogue.
The lie rolled easily off his tongue, and the truth followed him like a ghost, nothing to burn to be rid of it, only a constant longing that remained even after four years without them.
Good analogy, and this merits an “Oh, Sam.”
when I was studying--I remembered things in your voice. The bill of rights. Micro economics. I don't know why, but it helped.
*g* Too cute.
"Maybe I'll read to you. The Runaway Bunny. That's what I remember first about you. You used to read it all serious--if you run away, I will run after you, remember that? You used to tell me the same thing when I got scared. If you're lost, Sammy, I'll always bring you home."
Lovely. I have read this book to both my girls many times, and it definitely speaks to one’s heartstrings.
Dean lies still in the bed, peaceful and young like he never got to be
Oh, Dean.
She laughs. It sounds like rain, and the lake ripples as she does.
Great analogy.
No pain, no guilt. He has reason to want that, Sam. You could give him that. If you loved him, you would."
This time Sam laughs, relief warm inside him. "You're slipping," he says. "If you knew either of us at all, you know I never would. I'm not him."
Ooh, good dialogue exchange.
Only the machines answer, and Sam slumps there, and just breathes for a while, ragged and desperate, his hand fisted in Dean's hospital issue pajamas, his other curled around Dean's arm.
Such an “Oh, boys” image. *hugs them*
Until a hand falls warm and heavy on his head. "Hey, easy there, Sasquatch," Dean's voice, the sound Sam would follow anywhere.
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Date: 2007-07-30 11:49 pm (UTC)Favorite lines:
Sam goes back, and he sits by Dean, curls his fingers around Dean's, the way Dean would never, ever allow him to if he were awake.
Oh, boys.
Apparently I'm supposed to talk to you, so first I'm gonna tell you how fucking annoying it is every time you throw yourself in the way of something to save me. It'll probably take longer than I've got; it's not like it's a one off, you know? We'll start with that time when I was six?"
*g* I love Sam’s speech here. I firmly believe Dean’s thrown himself in harm’s way many, many times. Protective, big-brother complex to the max.
and when the squeal of tyres subsided, Dean didn't move, even when Sam cried and tugged his sleeve--please, Dean, please. You gotta.
Poor Sammy! *hugs him*
When Dean did eventually wake up, Sam couldn't stop babbling--I'm sorry, and I don't really want a puppy as much as I want you
This makes me ache for Sam.
When the car pulled up beside him, Sam nearly didn't get in at all, knew he might stay if Dean asked him to, hoped a little that Dean would ask him to, admit he wanted something, even if Sam shouldn't have to give him it.
I like this a lot, how Sam’s feelings are kind of conflicted. It feels right.
"What you want, Sammy, that's right. It's always about what you want, you selfish little prick."
Ouch. The boys sure know how to hurt each other.
Sam felt each of Dean's words like bullets
Great analogy.
"You're just as bad as he is, and you know what? You don't have to be. You have a choice, a chance to get out and have your own life, and maybe you're too stupid to take it, I don't know, but I'm not."
Ow, ow, ow.
"Shut up. Dad'll come around soon enough--"
"He won't. And even if he does, I won't."
Wonderfully hurty dialogue.
The lie rolled easily off his tongue, and the truth followed him like a ghost, nothing to burn to be rid of it, only a constant longing that remained even after four years without them.
Good analogy, and this merits an “Oh, Sam.”
when I was studying--I remembered things in your voice. The bill of rights. Micro economics. I don't know why, but it helped.
*g* Too cute.
"Maybe I'll read to you. The Runaway Bunny. That's what I remember first about you. You used to read it all serious--if you run away, I will run after you, remember that? You used to tell me the same thing when I got scared. If you're lost, Sammy, I'll always bring you home."
Lovely. I have read this book to both my girls many times, and it definitely speaks to one’s heartstrings.
Dean lies still in the bed, peaceful and young like he never got to be
Oh, Dean.
She laughs. It sounds like rain, and the lake ripples as she does.
Great analogy.
No pain, no guilt. He has reason to want that, Sam. You could give him that. If you loved him, you would."
This time Sam laughs, relief warm inside him. "You're slipping," he says. "If you knew either of us at all, you know I never would. I'm not him."
Ooh, good dialogue exchange.
Only the machines answer, and Sam slumps there, and just breathes for a while, ragged and desperate, his hand fisted in Dean's hospital issue pajamas, his other curled around Dean's arm.
Such an “Oh, boys” image. *hugs them*
Until a hand falls warm and heavy on his head. "Hey, easy there, Sasquatch," Dean's voice, the sound Sam would follow anywhere.
Love this.