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remix_reduxTitle: It Happened One Night (The When the Saints Go Dancing In Remix)
Author: SunnyD_lite
Summary: Two Slayers walk into a demon bar
Rating: R
Fandom: BtVS
Word Count: 1559
Author's Notes: My betas,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
soundingsea and spiralleds helped make this better. Thank you!
Spoilers: Post Chosen
Title, Author and URL of original story: Remix of Faith1922's Desert Saints Desert Saints
"Two slayers walk into a bar.. . What? No you haven't heard this one! It's not a joke. And you clearly weren't listening." Almost dropping his mug of beer, Jake pinned the chortling floppy-skinned demon with a glare.
"I said THE two Slayers. It was last year; they turned up at Finnegan's."
"---"
"Yes, the one in New Mexico, as in 'should have turned left at Albuquerque'. I was hustling there, keeping a low profile and it doesn't get much lower than Finnegan's."
"---"
"You don't have to agree so readily, but where was I? Right, THE Two Slayers."
"Now you know Finnegan's is a neutral zone: one of the reasons I choose it. Not that I mind a fight, but that wasn't what I needed. So I'd been there a month or so, getting regular with the regulars and picking up marks the others wouldn't defend."
"Oh, don't give me that look. I knew I had to rusticate for a good while; wouldn't do to be stepping on big toes. Some of those toes ended in talons longer than my horns; ones even I wouldn't want to mess with. So I made small wagers with the mainstays and only fleeced the agreed-upon marks: those that deserved it, or them that were waltzing through. Had to keep up the cash flow, didn't I?"
"Anyway, it was designated neutral ground and, even better, was respected as such. One night, just an average night, I was working on a chump when I heard the door open. Not an unusual sound, but the silence that followed was. Most often entrances were unheralded, well, except for Norm. He was this big penta-tentacled purple monopod who served drinks. Whenever he turned up for shift—"
"—"
"That's right, a cry of Norm. A cheesy Cheers moment, but it lent the place a little character to counteract the spilled beer smell and gouged ply-wood tables. But these two, have you ever been close to a slayer? I mean who hasn't, these days; they are everywhere. I see you have, so you know that tingle? Well this wasn't a tingle but a taser shock when the two of them entered."
"---"
"Fine, don't believe me, but they are THE Slayers, from back when the line ran pure. Plus they've been around over 15 years, from the gossip. Whatever, their arrival packed a hell of a punch."
"So things were tense, at least until one took a seat in the corner and the other high-tailed it to the phone out back. Since they didn't come in guns-a-blazing, the room exhaled a collective sigh and continued their normal activities."
"Not sure what happened next. I got back to business; the great thing about a two-headed Gl'icq, they always mess up the perspective, great marks. But I soon felt a single pair of eyes scoping me out. As I cornered the table to get a better shot, I got my own eyeful of my observer. "
"---"
"Damn straight she was a hottie. Blonde, and wearing a slightly damp black tank top with those thin straps so you can see acres of golden skin. She was leaning against the wall. As I watched, she slowly drew one booted foot up the wall, turning her knee into a platform to rest her beer."
"---"
"I know. She must have been copying a model shoot or something. She did class up the joint. Luckily the Gl'icq was keeping all his eyes off the table and on the new scenery. Wrapped up that game in about five minutes."
"---"
"No, I wasn't going to cut her in; she was already checking out the goods. In fact, she stepped up, laying some bills on the table. I upped the ante with a dance."
"---"
"Yes, she took me up on it! 'Course she was just hustling me. Being a gent, I let her break. I didn't touch the cue the whole game. I redeemed myself the next game, with at least a five ball run. But the third game was another slaughter. And the next."
With a tilt of the head, his companion expressed his disbelief. Glad to know his rep with the pool cue was still solid.
"You bet I got ribbed after that. It was my worst showing at Finnegan's, ever. By that time we was just betting the dance. Normally I'm not one for pity, but she'd run through the week's winnings."
"'Course, I was wearing my good leathers. And she was all with the looking, so maybe pity wasn't the inspiring emotion. Either way, she looked me right in the eye, winked, and missed the cue ball."
"A few minutes after that, a Garbage song was playing and she grabbed my hand, as if I needed to be persuaded to dance. Oh those tingles? Much stronger close up, worked in all the right places. It was going well until she tugged the cigarette out of my mouth, took a sexy drag then dropped it. My gaze was drawn down her extended leg as she twisted the tip of her boot to put it out."
"It was a nice leg. A really nice leg. A really nice leg that was stalking over to the bar, then back to her booth."
"So after I cleared my head, I sauntered over. Didn't count that as a full dance, which is what we'd bargained for. I razzed her about the smoke, and she joshed back. Called her Slayer, just to remind myself what type of fire I was playing with."
"As I leaned against the table, the dark one began questioning my intent."
"---"
"No, not like that, but it was kinda like she didn't know the basic rules. I pointed to the neutral sign, then wandered back to the bar, letting Blondie explain. 'sides, I was getting thirsty."
"While I picked up a pint, they finished whatever glare-down they had. That was the other reason I am-scrayed; tension leads to wrinkles which are bad for my complexion. Guess they felt it too, 'cuz they both ordered fresh drinks. And yes, the Slayers were drinking bottled stuff, guess it's easier to dance with. Blondie coaxed the other to the dance floor. They looked like night and day, or, to get all literary-like, Snow White and Rose Red, but not that Disney version. No this was definitely the XTASY version, maybe with a couple more XXs."
"They kept a hand on each other the whole evening, fingers tracing each other's waists, coasting up and down each others' arms. Even when their focus was elsewhere, they were connected. And don't try to get between them without the dark one's permission. 'Course, she gave me the nod and I was sandwiched between two flexible, firm young bodies."
"I kinda got the feeling my presence was tolerated, rather than necessary, but the gals could dance. Saved up enough memories for a life worth of fantasies."
"---"
"Hey that's not a bad idea, but I'm thinking even Pent Lair readers wouldn't be able to suspend their disbelief enough for that, it's a whole Golden Gates level of suspension."
"No, it really did happen. But who's gonna buy that? Me and The Two Slayers? Even if we did just dance, although I've seen Madams who would have blushed at their moves."
"---"
"No, not just Miss Sally, and she doesn't blush. R'tomics change redness just by breathing."
"Did I mention stamina? They were cutting the rug to smithereens. Finnegan's never closes but they outlasted two shift changes. I'm proud to say I stayed with them every step. We made a pretty picture. Fact was, I was the talk of the joint for months after."
"So anyways, have you heard about that contest they're holding at the Cavern?"
"Ya, ya. the 'dance til you drop' one. Entrance fee's a grand but the winner takes the pot! They've already got forty people and there's a week left to register."
"What do you mean, so what? Did you not just hear how I held my own dancing the night away with The Two Slayers? Those two were like energizer bunnies on speed. No one, I mean, no one else could keep up with them. I'm a shoo-in for this contest. All I'm asking for is the seed money, the entrance fee to get me in the door. I'll pay you back ten grand as soon as I've won."
"Hey, wait a sec. Don't walk away, it's a golden opportunity! Hey!"
Feeling his tail droop, Jake tried to cover his disappointment by empting his beer. He'd been so sure that Zarkok would front him the cash. Hadn't he covered for Zarkok when his family was looking for him?
Straightening in his chair, he scanned through the smoke and other haze of the joint. A limb of lime green with purple patches caught his eye. Cl'uric had just walked in. Cl'uric, what had been the 411 on him? Oh, that's right, he'd heard something about Cl'uric selling a new fantasy computer game program to Xbox 3000. He'd be flush.
"Cl'uric, over here. Long time no see. How's life treating you? And the missus? Me? Couldn't be better. Hey, did I tell you about the time The Two Slayers walked into a bar?"
Author: SunnyD_lite
Summary: Two Slayers walk into a demon bar
Rating: R
Fandom: BtVS
Word Count: 1559
Author's Notes: My betas,
soundingsea and spiralleds helped make this better. Thank you! Spoilers: Post Chosen
Title, Author and URL of original story: Remix of Faith1922's Desert Saints Desert Saints
"Two slayers walk into a bar.. . What? No you haven't heard this one! It's not a joke. And you clearly weren't listening." Almost dropping his mug of beer, Jake pinned the chortling floppy-skinned demon with a glare.
"I said THE two Slayers. It was last year; they turned up at Finnegan's."
"---"
"Yes, the one in New Mexico, as in 'should have turned left at Albuquerque'. I was hustling there, keeping a low profile and it doesn't get much lower than Finnegan's."
"---"
"You don't have to agree so readily, but where was I? Right, THE Two Slayers."
"Now you know Finnegan's is a neutral zone: one of the reasons I choose it. Not that I mind a fight, but that wasn't what I needed. So I'd been there a month or so, getting regular with the regulars and picking up marks the others wouldn't defend."
"Oh, don't give me that look. I knew I had to rusticate for a good while; wouldn't do to be stepping on big toes. Some of those toes ended in talons longer than my horns; ones even I wouldn't want to mess with. So I made small wagers with the mainstays and only fleeced the agreed-upon marks: those that deserved it, or them that were waltzing through. Had to keep up the cash flow, didn't I?"
"Anyway, it was designated neutral ground and, even better, was respected as such. One night, just an average night, I was working on a chump when I heard the door open. Not an unusual sound, but the silence that followed was. Most often entrances were unheralded, well, except for Norm. He was this big penta-tentacled purple monopod who served drinks. Whenever he turned up for shift—"
"—"
"That's right, a cry of Norm. A cheesy Cheers moment, but it lent the place a little character to counteract the spilled beer smell and gouged ply-wood tables. But these two, have you ever been close to a slayer? I mean who hasn't, these days; they are everywhere. I see you have, so you know that tingle? Well this wasn't a tingle but a taser shock when the two of them entered."
"---"
"Fine, don't believe me, but they are THE Slayers, from back when the line ran pure. Plus they've been around over 15 years, from the gossip. Whatever, their arrival packed a hell of a punch."
"So things were tense, at least until one took a seat in the corner and the other high-tailed it to the phone out back. Since they didn't come in guns-a-blazing, the room exhaled a collective sigh and continued their normal activities."
"Not sure what happened next. I got back to business; the great thing about a two-headed Gl'icq, they always mess up the perspective, great marks. But I soon felt a single pair of eyes scoping me out. As I cornered the table to get a better shot, I got my own eyeful of my observer. "
"---"
"Damn straight she was a hottie. Blonde, and wearing a slightly damp black tank top with those thin straps so you can see acres of golden skin. She was leaning against the wall. As I watched, she slowly drew one booted foot up the wall, turning her knee into a platform to rest her beer."
"---"
"I know. She must have been copying a model shoot or something. She did class up the joint. Luckily the Gl'icq was keeping all his eyes off the table and on the new scenery. Wrapped up that game in about five minutes."
"---"
"No, I wasn't going to cut her in; she was already checking out the goods. In fact, she stepped up, laying some bills on the table. I upped the ante with a dance."
"---"
"Yes, she took me up on it! 'Course she was just hustling me. Being a gent, I let her break. I didn't touch the cue the whole game. I redeemed myself the next game, with at least a five ball run. But the third game was another slaughter. And the next."
With a tilt of the head, his companion expressed his disbelief. Glad to know his rep with the pool cue was still solid.
"You bet I got ribbed after that. It was my worst showing at Finnegan's, ever. By that time we was just betting the dance. Normally I'm not one for pity, but she'd run through the week's winnings."
"'Course, I was wearing my good leathers. And she was all with the looking, so maybe pity wasn't the inspiring emotion. Either way, she looked me right in the eye, winked, and missed the cue ball."
"A few minutes after that, a Garbage song was playing and she grabbed my hand, as if I needed to be persuaded to dance. Oh those tingles? Much stronger close up, worked in all the right places. It was going well until she tugged the cigarette out of my mouth, took a sexy drag then dropped it. My gaze was drawn down her extended leg as she twisted the tip of her boot to put it out."
"It was a nice leg. A really nice leg. A really nice leg that was stalking over to the bar, then back to her booth."
"So after I cleared my head, I sauntered over. Didn't count that as a full dance, which is what we'd bargained for. I razzed her about the smoke, and she joshed back. Called her Slayer, just to remind myself what type of fire I was playing with."
"As I leaned against the table, the dark one began questioning my intent."
"---"
"No, not like that, but it was kinda like she didn't know the basic rules. I pointed to the neutral sign, then wandered back to the bar, letting Blondie explain. 'sides, I was getting thirsty."
"While I picked up a pint, they finished whatever glare-down they had. That was the other reason I am-scrayed; tension leads to wrinkles which are bad for my complexion. Guess they felt it too, 'cuz they both ordered fresh drinks. And yes, the Slayers were drinking bottled stuff, guess it's easier to dance with. Blondie coaxed the other to the dance floor. They looked like night and day, or, to get all literary-like, Snow White and Rose Red, but not that Disney version. No this was definitely the XTASY version, maybe with a couple more XXs."
"They kept a hand on each other the whole evening, fingers tracing each other's waists, coasting up and down each others' arms. Even when their focus was elsewhere, they were connected. And don't try to get between them without the dark one's permission. 'Course, she gave me the nod and I was sandwiched between two flexible, firm young bodies."
"I kinda got the feeling my presence was tolerated, rather than necessary, but the gals could dance. Saved up enough memories for a life worth of fantasies."
"---"
"Hey that's not a bad idea, but I'm thinking even Pent Lair readers wouldn't be able to suspend their disbelief enough for that, it's a whole Golden Gates level of suspension."
"No, it really did happen. But who's gonna buy that? Me and The Two Slayers? Even if we did just dance, although I've seen Madams who would have blushed at their moves."
"---"
"No, not just Miss Sally, and she doesn't blush. R'tomics change redness just by breathing."
"Did I mention stamina? They were cutting the rug to smithereens. Finnegan's never closes but they outlasted two shift changes. I'm proud to say I stayed with them every step. We made a pretty picture. Fact was, I was the talk of the joint for months after."
"So anyways, have you heard about that contest they're holding at the Cavern?"
"Ya, ya. the 'dance til you drop' one. Entrance fee's a grand but the winner takes the pot! They've already got forty people and there's a week left to register."
"What do you mean, so what? Did you not just hear how I held my own dancing the night away with The Two Slayers? Those two were like energizer bunnies on speed. No one, I mean, no one else could keep up with them. I'm a shoo-in for this contest. All I'm asking for is the seed money, the entrance fee to get me in the door. I'll pay you back ten grand as soon as I've won."
"Hey, wait a sec. Don't walk away, it's a golden opportunity! Hey!"
Feeling his tail droop, Jake tried to cover his disappointment by empting his beer. He'd been so sure that Zarkok would front him the cash. Hadn't he covered for Zarkok when his family was looking for him?
Straightening in his chair, he scanned through the smoke and other haze of the joint. A limb of lime green with purple patches caught his eye. Cl'uric had just walked in. Cl'uric, what had been the 411 on him? Oh, that's right, he'd heard something about Cl'uric selling a new fantasy computer game program to Xbox 3000. He'd be flush.
"Cl'uric, over here. Long time no see. How's life treating you? And the missus? Me? Couldn't be better. Hey, did I tell you about the time The Two Slayers walked into a bar?"
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Date: 2007-04-29 05:56 pm (UTC)