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remix_reduxRemix Title: Ding Dong Witch, you dead! (Control Remix)
Fandom: SV
Characters: Clark/Lex, Lana, MAL
Remix Author: Kanya_westley
Summary: MAL analyzes, Lana conceits, Lana dies.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Smallville
Warnings: Character Death
Spoilers: -
Original Fic Title: Control by Miche Connor
* * *
Sidewalk, Talon, Smallville, Kansas
They thought him superior in design and intellect, but dead in all other aspects. Well that may be so, but MAL was rational enough to know that the destruction of the ‘relationship thing’ between its master, male human Lex Luthor and his aesthetically appealing friend, male human Clark Kent would be detrimental to MAL’s future.
MAL’s programming has instilled in its main CPU the algorithm to calculate the statistical possibilities of what a change in his master’s demeanour from the dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ would entail for MAL’s future. Statistically speaking it would be, as male human Lex had once said, “superiorly fucked up”.
Running the progression branches, MAL came up with two scenarios:
1) The dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ between Lex Luthor and Clark Kent would have a 78% chance of causing irrational anger in male Human Lex, and it had a high correlation of male Human Lex taking a piece off MAL’s coat of paint, in anger. Not good, since repairments would take up to one month, and in that span, male Human Lex will find a new automobile replacement, ending with MAL’s disownment. It was afterall measured with a 98% confidence interval.
2) The dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ would cause a natural tendency for male Human Lex to require new companionship and form a new ‘relationship thing’. It was in the human condition, as MAL learnt by the programming of ‘Human Psyche 1101E’ into its CPU. Further permutations have seen a result of a 95% confidence that the formation of a new relationship, with further conditions recently set by male Human Clark Kent from his previous talk with MAL, will be with female Human Lana Lang - the specie being with a low aesthetic score. This, as calculated, also had the same probability of MAL’s future and abrupt disownment for a pinkier, more inferior model.
As asserted by master male Human Lex: superiorly fucked up.
MAL’s defense mechanism against finger print marks sounded for the fifth time while waiting for master male Human Lex.
"This is the Murcielago Auto Lamborghini. You have activated proximity sensors. Please step away now. Police will be notified in fifteen seconds if alerts do not immediately cease."
If a new ‘relationship thing’ formed between the one named Lana and his master Lex, then knowing this female type with the aesthetically low score would mean MAL’s new coat of paint would have lots of finger marks. It was simply impossible for that female type to refrain from touching him and running their perceived dainty non-taint fingers along the surface of its exterior.
MAL was that sleek.
It is with this in mind, that MAL came to the conclusion: female Human Lana Lang must die.
*
Interior, Talon, Smallville, Kansas
They are at it again. I watch them as I serve the patrons coffee. Smiling, laughing, and sometimes maybe even touching. I wish it weren’t so, but I am jealous.
I am jealous of the intimacy of their friendship and the selflessness that is so very apparent. Why can’t I have that? Why is it that everyone leaves me? I am loveable, selfless and not conceited at all…I am worth so much more than what everyone think I am. Seriously.
"Lana."
"Oh. Lex! I saw you and Clark--working on the poetry homework?" I smile up at Lex in my congenial smile reserved for people I have to appear to ‘like’. It’s no good for business if I can’t agree with the partner. "I know he was having a hard time with it in class."
Unfair, very unfair! I do not have friends like that. Ok, Chloe doesn’t count. She just doesn’t.
"Nothing that a little explanation didn't clear up."
Hmm, do I have wrinkles like Lex? He seems to have forehead lines. I try my hardest to lessen my smile. Aunt Nell thinks smiling would cause potential wrinkles.
"Oh, well then. I'll just check with him in a bit and see how he's doing, then." And maybe ask Clark what the age is when a woman starts the visible aging process. It’s not 20 is it?
"Yes. You do that." Lex paused and pulled out a twenty from his pocket. "Ring me up, will you? And Clark's too."
U-n-f-a-i-r. Clark gets everything. He gets to moon over me, and he gets a friend who’ll pay stuff for him. Hmm, well Clark should learn that you don’t always get what you want in this world…"Oh, he won't like that Lex. You know how stubborn he is."
And it’s not like Clark can’t afford to pay for his own coffee. What was it that someone told me about sour grapes? Huh. Well, it just doesn’t apply to me, I mean. I am the victim here, my parents died when I was wee little for crying out loud!
"Do it, anyway, Lana?" Lex's voice was low, cool to the point of freezing and intent.
Lex can be so arrogant. Just because he’s rich. Why can’t I be rich? Well at least I am not bald and aging with forehead wrinkles. Hmm although it seems to have disappeared with his previous expression. Huh. But he’s still bald!
"Oh, of course." I smirked, but a little one, so as to not loosen my facial muscles. That will definitely give me wrinkles. "And that reminds me. There are some papers from your lawyer? In the office. Did you want-"
"I'll look them over, but I don't think that there's anything to be concerned about."
"I appreciate it, Lex." See what a congenial smile can do for you?
*
Interior, MAL, Smallville, Kansas
"Unfortunately, you are lying. And so, I cannot let you go."
Shit!!! Oh shit, who would buy a car like that? Stupid LEX!!! I knew he was jealous of my friendship with Clark, and of course my hair…he doesn’t have any.
Oh gawd, why is everything blurry?? AM I dying? For real???
YES!!! I am free!
Lex is going to hear about –
THUD.
*
‘Problem eliminated’ was illuminated on MAL’s screen.
* * *
Fandom: SV
Characters: Clark/Lex, Lana, MAL
Remix Author: Kanya_westley
Summary: MAL analyzes, Lana conceits, Lana dies.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Smallville
Warnings: Character Death
Spoilers: -
Original Fic Title: Control by Miche Connor
* * *
Sidewalk, Talon, Smallville, Kansas
They thought him superior in design and intellect, but dead in all other aspects. Well that may be so, but MAL was rational enough to know that the destruction of the ‘relationship thing’ between its master, male human Lex Luthor and his aesthetically appealing friend, male human Clark Kent would be detrimental to MAL’s future.
MAL’s programming has instilled in its main CPU the algorithm to calculate the statistical possibilities of what a change in his master’s demeanour from the dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ would entail for MAL’s future. Statistically speaking it would be, as male human Lex had once said, “superiorly fucked up”.
Running the progression branches, MAL came up with two scenarios:
1) The dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ between Lex Luthor and Clark Kent would have a 78% chance of causing irrational anger in male Human Lex, and it had a high correlation of male Human Lex taking a piece off MAL’s coat of paint, in anger. Not good, since repairments would take up to one month, and in that span, male Human Lex will find a new automobile replacement, ending with MAL’s disownment. It was afterall measured with a 98% confidence interval.
2) The dissolution of the ‘relationship thing’ would cause a natural tendency for male Human Lex to require new companionship and form a new ‘relationship thing’. It was in the human condition, as MAL learnt by the programming of ‘Human Psyche 1101E’ into its CPU. Further permutations have seen a result of a 95% confidence that the formation of a new relationship, with further conditions recently set by male Human Clark Kent from his previous talk with MAL, will be with female Human Lana Lang - the specie being with a low aesthetic score. This, as calculated, also had the same probability of MAL’s future and abrupt disownment for a pinkier, more inferior model.
As asserted by master male Human Lex: superiorly fucked up.
MAL’s defense mechanism against finger print marks sounded for the fifth time while waiting for master male Human Lex.
"This is the Murcielago Auto Lamborghini. You have activated proximity sensors. Please step away now. Police will be notified in fifteen seconds if alerts do not immediately cease."
If a new ‘relationship thing’ formed between the one named Lana and his master Lex, then knowing this female type with the aesthetically low score would mean MAL’s new coat of paint would have lots of finger marks. It was simply impossible for that female type to refrain from touching him and running their perceived dainty non-taint fingers along the surface of its exterior.
MAL was that sleek.
It is with this in mind, that MAL came to the conclusion: female Human Lana Lang must die.
*
Interior, Talon, Smallville, Kansas
They are at it again. I watch them as I serve the patrons coffee. Smiling, laughing, and sometimes maybe even touching. I wish it weren’t so, but I am jealous.
I am jealous of the intimacy of their friendship and the selflessness that is so very apparent. Why can’t I have that? Why is it that everyone leaves me? I am loveable, selfless and not conceited at all…I am worth so much more than what everyone think I am. Seriously.
"Lana."
"Oh. Lex! I saw you and Clark--working on the poetry homework?" I smile up at Lex in my congenial smile reserved for people I have to appear to ‘like’. It’s no good for business if I can’t agree with the partner. "I know he was having a hard time with it in class."
Unfair, very unfair! I do not have friends like that. Ok, Chloe doesn’t count. She just doesn’t.
"Nothing that a little explanation didn't clear up."
Hmm, do I have wrinkles like Lex? He seems to have forehead lines. I try my hardest to lessen my smile. Aunt Nell thinks smiling would cause potential wrinkles.
"Oh, well then. I'll just check with him in a bit and see how he's doing, then." And maybe ask Clark what the age is when a woman starts the visible aging process. It’s not 20 is it?
"Yes. You do that." Lex paused and pulled out a twenty from his pocket. "Ring me up, will you? And Clark's too."
U-n-f-a-i-r. Clark gets everything. He gets to moon over me, and he gets a friend who’ll pay stuff for him. Hmm, well Clark should learn that you don’t always get what you want in this world…"Oh, he won't like that Lex. You know how stubborn he is."
And it’s not like Clark can’t afford to pay for his own coffee. What was it that someone told me about sour grapes? Huh. Well, it just doesn’t apply to me, I mean. I am the victim here, my parents died when I was wee little for crying out loud!
"Do it, anyway, Lana?" Lex's voice was low, cool to the point of freezing and intent.
Lex can be so arrogant. Just because he’s rich. Why can’t I be rich? Well at least I am not bald and aging with forehead wrinkles. Hmm although it seems to have disappeared with his previous expression. Huh. But he’s still bald!
"Oh, of course." I smirked, but a little one, so as to not loosen my facial muscles. That will definitely give me wrinkles. "And that reminds me. There are some papers from your lawyer? In the office. Did you want-"
"I'll look them over, but I don't think that there's anything to be concerned about."
"I appreciate it, Lex." See what a congenial smile can do for you?
*
Interior, MAL, Smallville, Kansas
"Unfortunately, you are lying. And so, I cannot let you go."
Shit!!! Oh shit, who would buy a car like that? Stupid LEX!!! I knew he was jealous of my friendship with Clark, and of course my hair…he doesn’t have any.
Oh gawd, why is everything blurry?? AM I dying? For real???
YES!!! I am free!
Lex is going to hear about –
THUD.
*
‘Problem eliminated’ was illuminated on MAL’s screen.
* * *
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-23 09:53 pm (UTC)*adores*
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Date: 2008-03-01 06:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-24 02:30 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-01 07:03 pm (UTC)(sry for the late reply, I completely forgot about this :( )
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-24 03:58 am (UTC)*snorfle*
(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-01 07:04 pm (UTC)(And yes, I make my third apology, sry for the late reply, was very busy in the evil institution we call school;l )
(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-02 03:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2008-03-01 07:05 pm (UTC)Sry for the late reply, school tried to kill me and I had to try to kill it back. No one won, it's a constant battle, taking place...still.