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remix_reduxSubject line: Amusement (Introspective) [Silent Hill; Vincent. Implied Vincent/Claudia, Implied Claudia/Alessa]
Title: Amusement (Introspective Remix)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
anarchicq
Summary: Vincent reflects on life, love, and everything.
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Silent Hill
Warnings: A bit gory
Spoilers: Silent Hill 3 spoilers
Title, Author and URL of original story: Amusement, byemerald_embers
I shouldn't laugh. Has this place changed me so much? Or was I always like this, seeing humor in all this cruelty? Just where exactly did I step off the beaten path that is 'normalcy'? Hell, have I been twisted into a monster too?
Pah! That's stupid. Why would I want to give up the pleasures of this world? I've fought damn hard, clawing and climbing my way through this sinuous crowd to get where I am. If you have to be part of a rather Mephistophelian troupe of people, it's best to be at the top; watch the little kiddies below.
There I go, snickering again, crinkling my nose so that I have to push up my glasses.
See, the Cult doesn't especially see children as some holy vestige of innocence, not the way most other people do anyway. They aren't some clean slate free of sin. They're not pure. How can they be when us who came before them are so completely immersed in all of this... this...
Faith? Well, they seem to think it's faith. Fanaticism really. And that's fine. Let them stare so deep and so hard into one thing, that they're blind to everything else.
Laughing again.
Ones of these days, I should see if I can get these fools to pull a Heaven's Gate. I bet I could do it; they really do trust me that much. Drink this and the Holy Mother will be inside you. Sadly, that's not my area. Claudia would be better. But Claudia would never do it. She's even the blindest of them all, her focus so key-holed onto Alessa.
Excuse me. Heather.
Heather means "protection". Funny that Harry would choose a name with such a meaning.
God my laugh reflex is getting a work out today.
I never knew what "Alessa" meant. Maybe Claudia does.
Claudia. Now, don't misunderstand, I'm trying to keep Heather 'safe' so that All Hell doesn't break loose. But part of me, a tiny, nostalgic part of me I think, is also trying to keep Claudia from screwing everything up. Maybe I'm being selfless, maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe both. But I think Claudia fell too far, blinded by the cult and it's lies. Lies I helped to perpetuate. So some of this is my doing. Never mind. I don't want to think about it. I have my money and my power and I like it that way.
And all it took to acquire these sweet little golden eggs was a simple turning of my back to things that, perhaps, I thought I desired back then. Back when I was weak and growing and a boy.
But Claudia, she always knew what she wanted. I don't think she wanted God. Not really. Want to know what I think? I think Claudia wanted Alessa, and I think Alessa wanted us all to pay. Pay for what, I don't know. Just because you're burned like an overdone steak is no reason to carry a grudge on the whole planet.
Really, it all boils down to: I wanted Claudia, Claudia wanted Alessa, Alessa wanted revenge. I couldn't have Claudia, so Claudia can't have Alessa.
We're all petty.
Yes, maybe I am doing all this for a stupid boyhood crush. God, I mean, isn't that just laughably stupid? I know I'm having a riot.
So this is what we've all become. I've become a shallow, narssasitic scrooge, Claudia's a blind faith follower and- and this is possibly the most laughable thing of it all- Alessa's happy and well adjusted.
And maybe that's our hell. Maybe it's our sin that we should corrupt and ruin yet another 'innocent' person. I mean, hell! Dahlia, Walter... Why should we all stop now?
Me? I want to just duck and run, but I know that if Claudia is successful and God is born, then there will be no place to run. The God that helped me line my golden pockets so damned well will forsake me, and then all my wealth and power will be meaningless. A life that accumulates to nothing is not a comforting thought.
You're not the only one who's suffered, Claudia.
I was slapped and beaten and had my knuckles bruised just as bad as you did, my dear. The only difference between you and I is that it was your own father kicking you down. The one man who's meant to love you unconditionally. My beatings were from authorizes with no such heart strings. I was their son, but I was not their blood.
So, is that it Claudia? Just because you got kicked around, you have this sort of grand enlightenment that no-one else sees? Is that why only a good, understanding, Utopian God can come from torment?
Part of me wants to ask how you felt when you ordered such a heartless crime against "Heather". You might have simply told another minion what to do, but you're the true murderer. Do you feel pity? Remorse?
Do you feel dirty, Claudia Wolf?
Do any of us feel anything anymore?
I know I feel like laughing my guts out.
I laugh and laugh and laugh, thinking about the grime we're all mired in. None of us are clean. None of us are innocent. Did we ever have a choice? I don't think so. If we could all call a do-over I would place money on the guess that this would all turn out the exact same. Right down to the end. I know we're not going to survive this. And even if by some cosmic joke miracle or Dues Ex Mechina one of us live, we won't be the same.
The metal grating that serves as a floor and the living walls start to tremble as they send a powerful echo my way. A voice filled with such hatred, such malice and murderous blood lust that it would make a sane person shudder. But the words were funny.
"Shut your mouth you BITCH!"
Whoa now! Seems Heather's a might bit cranky tonight. I guess I would be too if I were her. Bravo Claudia, on goading her this far.
Ahh, 'Shut your mouth you bitch'. That's hilarious.
That's one for the books.
Title: Amusement (Introspective Remix)
Author:
anarchicqSummary: Vincent reflects on life, love, and everything.
Rating: PG13
Fandom: Silent Hill
Warnings: A bit gory
Spoilers: Silent Hill 3 spoilers
Title, Author and URL of original story: Amusement, by
emerald_embers I shouldn't laugh. Has this place changed me so much? Or was I always like this, seeing humor in all this cruelty? Just where exactly did I step off the beaten path that is 'normalcy'? Hell, have I been twisted into a monster too?
Pah! That's stupid. Why would I want to give up the pleasures of this world? I've fought damn hard, clawing and climbing my way through this sinuous crowd to get where I am. If you have to be part of a rather Mephistophelian troupe of people, it's best to be at the top; watch the little kiddies below.
There I go, snickering again, crinkling my nose so that I have to push up my glasses.
See, the Cult doesn't especially see children as some holy vestige of innocence, not the way most other people do anyway. They aren't some clean slate free of sin. They're not pure. How can they be when us who came before them are so completely immersed in all of this... this...
Faith? Well, they seem to think it's faith. Fanaticism really. And that's fine. Let them stare so deep and so hard into one thing, that they're blind to everything else.
Laughing again.
Ones of these days, I should see if I can get these fools to pull a Heaven's Gate. I bet I could do it; they really do trust me that much. Drink this and the Holy Mother will be inside you. Sadly, that's not my area. Claudia would be better. But Claudia would never do it. She's even the blindest of them all, her focus so key-holed onto Alessa.
Excuse me. Heather.
Heather means "protection". Funny that Harry would choose a name with such a meaning.
God my laugh reflex is getting a work out today.
I never knew what "Alessa" meant. Maybe Claudia does.
Claudia. Now, don't misunderstand, I'm trying to keep Heather 'safe' so that All Hell doesn't break loose. But part of me, a tiny, nostalgic part of me I think, is also trying to keep Claudia from screwing everything up. Maybe I'm being selfless, maybe I'm being selfish. Maybe both. But I think Claudia fell too far, blinded by the cult and it's lies. Lies I helped to perpetuate. So some of this is my doing. Never mind. I don't want to think about it. I have my money and my power and I like it that way.
And all it took to acquire these sweet little golden eggs was a simple turning of my back to things that, perhaps, I thought I desired back then. Back when I was weak and growing and a boy.
But Claudia, she always knew what she wanted. I don't think she wanted God. Not really. Want to know what I think? I think Claudia wanted Alessa, and I think Alessa wanted us all to pay. Pay for what, I don't know. Just because you're burned like an overdone steak is no reason to carry a grudge on the whole planet.
Really, it all boils down to: I wanted Claudia, Claudia wanted Alessa, Alessa wanted revenge. I couldn't have Claudia, so Claudia can't have Alessa.
We're all petty.
Yes, maybe I am doing all this for a stupid boyhood crush. God, I mean, isn't that just laughably stupid? I know I'm having a riot.
So this is what we've all become. I've become a shallow, narssasitic scrooge, Claudia's a blind faith follower and- and this is possibly the most laughable thing of it all- Alessa's happy and well adjusted.
And maybe that's our hell. Maybe it's our sin that we should corrupt and ruin yet another 'innocent' person. I mean, hell! Dahlia, Walter... Why should we all stop now?
Me? I want to just duck and run, but I know that if Claudia is successful and God is born, then there will be no place to run. The God that helped me line my golden pockets so damned well will forsake me, and then all my wealth and power will be meaningless. A life that accumulates to nothing is not a comforting thought.
You're not the only one who's suffered, Claudia.
I was slapped and beaten and had my knuckles bruised just as bad as you did, my dear. The only difference between you and I is that it was your own father kicking you down. The one man who's meant to love you unconditionally. My beatings were from authorizes with no such heart strings. I was their son, but I was not their blood.
So, is that it Claudia? Just because you got kicked around, you have this sort of grand enlightenment that no-one else sees? Is that why only a good, understanding, Utopian God can come from torment?
Part of me wants to ask how you felt when you ordered such a heartless crime against "Heather". You might have simply told another minion what to do, but you're the true murderer. Do you feel pity? Remorse?
Do you feel dirty, Claudia Wolf?
Do any of us feel anything anymore?
I know I feel like laughing my guts out.
I laugh and laugh and laugh, thinking about the grime we're all mired in. None of us are clean. None of us are innocent. Did we ever have a choice? I don't think so. If we could all call a do-over I would place money on the guess that this would all turn out the exact same. Right down to the end. I know we're not going to survive this. And even if by some cosmic joke miracle or Dues Ex Mechina one of us live, we won't be the same.
The metal grating that serves as a floor and the living walls start to tremble as they send a powerful echo my way. A voice filled with such hatred, such malice and murderous blood lust that it would make a sane person shudder. But the words were funny.
"Shut your mouth you BITCH!"
Whoa now! Seems Heather's a might bit cranky tonight. I guess I would be too if I were her. Bravo Claudia, on goading her this far.
Ahh, 'Shut your mouth you bitch'. That's hilarious.
That's one for the books.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-22 07:17 pm (UTC)This is SO AWESOME. Thank you so much! It's dark, and the black humour in places is just hilariously cruel, and I love your Vincent voice and the mentioning of all the other characters, even Walter, and just, thank you :D.
I love the points he makes as well because so many of them, even if fed by selfishness, make so much sense. It's great.
Thank you again :D
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2007-04-30 05:04 am (UTC)No, I'm mostly kidding^^. Actually, I sort of want to half-continue the birth story. Basically making it about Heather feeling Valtiel will resurrect her again. But he doesn't, because God is born and so they have no use for her...*tangent*
And speaking of tangents, I was worried that this ficlet was too...ramble-y and drawn out, but I suppose it all came together in the end.
I'm so glad you approve!
Now then...may I post it in http://valtiel.com? I'd Credit you and give all the above disclaimers, of course.
Gratuitous Vincent icon!